Hacksaw

Friday, September 7, 2012

And yes the Wife's name is "Poops the Panda"

Softball? Or Talk Shit?

Double: Able to play at 7 tonight? We are 2 short and playing for the 1 seed

Me: Can't doucher, sorry

Double: Sorry doesn't Solve my tears

Me: You have tears because you are a bitch. What cures that ????

Double: Bitch Slapping you!!!!

Me: That would require that you remove both of your thumbs from your ass

Double: I question your motives. How much beer is it gonna take for you to sub tomorrow at 7?

Me: Fuck man, I wish but I have plans tomorrow

Double: Well wake her ass up we have to win tomorrow!!!

Me: You are as cool as Rob Schneider

Double: He has to have more money than me at least...

Wife on a List??

Wife: My friend at work said that strep is going around

Me: Maybe stop making out with your coworkers and you wouldn't get strep

Wife: Haha, that or stop playing with my coworkers daughter who had strep and the flu would be more like it.

Me: Gross babe, people get put on lists for that kind of activity

Best Directions Ever

Oregon Trail: Hey man send me your address

Me: 4500 ******* *******

Me: Denver

Me: Colorado

Me: 80***

Me: United States

Me: America

Me: North America

Oregon Trail: Fuck Man!!! I know this Shit!!

Failed New Years Plans

Oregon Trail: Hey chump what is your plan for New Years?

Me: Im in Tucson Pal

Oregon Trail: Enjoy the Tucson Gay scene then

Me: Jealousy Huh

Oregon Trail: Not at all. I’ll be fucking slutswhile you are fucking butts. More likely getting fucked in the butt.

Me: Easy Dr. Suess, you sound like a rapper

Oregon Trail: It's not Rape if you yell surprise